Steyn:

When visitors like yours truly swing by, the camp likes to serve them the same meal the prisoners get. This being Ramadan, Adm. Harris was particularly proud of the fresh-baked traditional pastries his team had made for the holy month. And he was right: The baklava was delicious. “Baklava” is said by some linguists to come from the Arabic for “nuts” — and, indeed, in that sense this entire war can sometimes seem like one giant baklava. There was a film out earlier this year called ”The Road To Guantanamo,” and the poster showed the usual emaciated prisoner hung by shackles against a dungeon wall. No doubt the actor in question did the full Robert De Niro and lost 40 pounds to get himself looking that cadaverous.

If they’ve got anything like that going on at the real Gitmo, they must be doing it behind the confectioner’s sugar at the back of the pastry chef’s cupboard. If you’re hoping to hear about the old wooden chair under a bare lightbulb swinging on its cord, here’s the reality: The detaineeare interrogated on either a La-Z-Boy recliner or a luxuriously upholstered sofa — blue plush with gold piping.

As for being emaciated, it’s the only death camp in history where the soi-disant torture victims put on weight. In contrast to the undernourished thesp in the movie version, the average gain at Gitmo is 18 pounds. The Afghan detainees were the chunkiest Afghans I’ve ever seen. If they ever make it home, their old comrades — the lean wiry warriors of the Hindu Kush — will wonder why a party of Florida retirees has suddenly shown up. These Pushtuns are pushing a ton.

And, if you do start losing weight suddenly, don’t worry. As one of the camp’s medical staff explained, they offer free colon-cancer testing for jihadis over 50. If President Hillary decides to have another crack at socialized medicine in 2009, there are worse slogans than “Every American should have the right to the same health-care plan as a Sudanese terrorist who put his arm out stabbing a prison guard.”

Perhaps this is what Senator Leahy means by “abusive,” “cruel,” “degrading” “torture.” If you’re used to the Afghan health system, no doubt it’s profoundly humiliating to be offered free colonoscopies every time you bend down to use the prayer mat.

We are genuinely surprised that the ACLU or some such organization has not yet sued the government to mandate the La-Z-Boy and baklava treatment for federal prison inmates that the detainees get at Club Gitmo.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 1st, 2006 at 8:56 am and is filed under General, idiots!, Law, Left of Left, Religion, War. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.